Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
a grandmother, a mother, and a daughter walk into a bar. she orders one drink
oh I get it the joke here is that they’re all the same person. she has multiple relationships to members of her family. thanks for this great post officialunitedstates
no problem I’m glad you liked it
the shocking truth is revealed
"go away mom, i’m eating commander crunch"
Teacher: You may listen to your music quietly
i’m the boy your mother warned you about. [runs with scissors]
im pretty sure it is physically impossible to listen to radioactive by imagine dragons without imagining yourself in a post-apocalyptic city with your hair slowly blowing in the wind as you walk down the deserted street with a gun on your shoulder